Tongue Muscles
by random smilie
Summary: Did you know that the tongue's the strongest muscle in the human body? And we don't even have to excercise it! A slightly crazy LJ oneshot. In which Lily ponders on how to excercise her tongue.


I, Lily Evans, am confused.

If the tongue was the strongest muscle in the whole human body, why on Earth didn't anyone excercise it?

I mean we have all sorts of excersises for the rest of our body, don't we?

Push ups, sit ups, weight lifting, jogging, swimming...even old people excersise by playing lawn bowls! People play sport to keep fit every single day!

But _no one _excersises their tongue! I mean, who's heard of tongue stretching?

I poke out my tongue and peer awkwardly down at it. It looks perfectly healthy. All pink and wet with spit. Its covered with little bumps. Tastebuds. I pinch it with my fingers.

Nope. No fat on my wonderful tongue muscles.

I slump in my chair and ponder. What on Earth did my tongue do to keep so toned and fit? I mean, all it did was help digest food and swallow, but apart from that it just sat in my mouth all day.

I poked my tongue out again and narrowed my eyes at it. I think my stomach muscles were starting to feel slightly jealous towards my tongue. They had to work hard to keep fit and make my tummy nice and flat. All my tongue did was sit around all day and it was all nice and strong. Lazy little bugger.

I patted my stomach, and crooned at it,

"Don't worry tummy muscles. Mummy loves you, even if you aren't as fit and healthy as her tongue. Who's a good lil tummy? Hey?"

I heard coughing behind me. I spun around to face a very amused Head Boy. James Potter. He's deflated that head of his. I'm actually starting to feel apprecaitive towards his comments. What? Having a good looking guy compliment you day after day during patrols does wonders for your confidence.

Not when he's trying not to laugh at you though. That is somewhat diminishing, especially after you've been trying to boost your stomach's self esteem.

"Talking to your stomach, Evans? Now that's something you don't see everyday."

I blushed and said,

"Yeah, well, it was sad! My stomach muscles were feeling weak! I was just making them feel better, okay?"

He let out a small chuckle. Damn him for looking so good in mothing but trackies. Damn him for being so comfortable prancing about half naked. Just because _his _tummy muscles looked so deliciously scrumptious. Sheesh.

"You can tell your stomach muscles that my stomach muscles think that they're excellent." he grinned at me.

I think my tummy just blushed. I understand it's feelings perfectly. James Potter's stomach complementing yours? Now _that's_ something you don't see every day.

Talking about wonderful muscles...his seem to be perfect. Not all big and ugly at all. Almost...beautiful. His upper body lean and muscled in all the right places. Made my tongue want to loll.

Bad tongue.

"You say something?"

Ohh...crappity crap crap. I did not just say that aloud.

"Evans?"

I guess I did. So I said the next thing that came to my head.

"Did you know the tongue's the strongest muscle in the body?"

Hah! Bet you didn't see that coming! Take that you gorgeous git!

His brow crinkles wonderfully.

"No...I didn't know that." he said slowly.

"I know! Who would've thought! All it does is sit around all day! It doesn't even have to excercise!" I exclaim.

"No...it doesn't does it?"

"Hey, do you think that we can come up with a things our tongue's can do to keep fit? I mean they have to do _something_, don't they?"

Okay I'm blabbing now. He laughs. What a joyful laugh it is.

"Evans, our tongues do heaps of things."

Huh?

"They do?'

He laughs again, taking a step foward.

"Sure. They help us to eat."

He's still walking foward. Is my stomach supposed to get all fluttery when he comes within a metre of my bubble?

"We swallow with our tongues. They help us to talk."

Oh yeah. Oops. I talk all the time and I didn't even realise my tongue was helping me to do so. I was very neglecting. I'm sorry tongue.

"What else?"

My voice is all faint because James is now very close. Centimetres in fact. I look up into his eyes. Hazel and brimming with mirth, and something I've never seen in anyone else's eyes.

He leans further in, making my lungs constrict painfully.

"Snogging is a wonderful pastime. It's also a very good excercise. You want to excercise?"

So what if the sentence is full of sexual incenduos. I blink, then grab him around the neck and pull his lips down to mine.

And kiss him.

His lips are hot and sweet and hard on mine, and seem to know exactly what they're doing. Almost like they've always belonged there. My legs threaten to give away, but he slips an arm around my waist and holds me close. My hands trail up that wonderful bare chest and I feel goosebumps erupt at my touch. They sink into his jet black, silky hair, and remain there until our tongues let us seperate. He holds me as we try to get our breath back. I manage to pant,

"Now _that _is what you call a workout."

**A/N Talk about random. Tongue muscles. What is my brain thinking? This idea has been swimming around in my head for ages, but whenever I wrote it, Lily was just a little to crazy. I'm sorry if she was too crazy for your liking.**

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**I think I had one too many chocolates.**

**Fare thee well dear comrades!**

**Definetly.**


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